Modesty compels me
to unamended truth:
my talents are unbounded,
to lie would be uncouth.
As painter I achieve
the heights of bruise and groan;
in DIY Olympics
my prowess stands alone.
I don’t even have to aim
at microscopic spot,
it’s bull’s-eye for the blob
where drop cloth covers not.
Forever placid swan,
both my graced left feet
entwine within the ladder,
reliably tout de suite;
clutching for my life
is my practiced well-honed skill,
a teeter and grab,
and I am upright still!
My TA-DAs are unheard,
resounding nonetheless;
I curtsy in official
full-palette painting dress.
I put my whole self in my work —
that’s very plain to see;
my genius also makes me put
my work all over me:
as some folks wear their feelings
on sleeves, in public view,
just so I wear my colors
on elbow and on shoe.
Unframed, my art’s admired
by critics, one and all,
exclaiming how I even get
some painting on the wall.
As you know, dear reader, I have solemnly sworn to never ever paint an ant-sized bathroom again. So I’m tackling people-sized places. The weather has encouraged me to stay indoors and, since my writer’s muse has been suffering from some malaise, I have turned to my ever-ready home improvement muse.
Nothing testifies to progress more convincingly than a mound of used painter’s tape. Detaching it from me was a matter best left unsung: Woman vs Tape is not a pretty story.