To be sung to the tune of
“My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean” — with feeling:
A bunny is cute on a napkin,
winsome and snug on a card,
but bunnies tear my little garden
to pitiful flower graveyard.
Refrain: Rabbits, rabbits!
You cost me a bundle each year, each year!
Hie thee thither,
each cottontail and long ear!
Verse 2: Poor hapless forlorn pollinator
that searches for nectar and bliss,
no pollen to stick to his knickers,
no petal to tickle and kiss.
Refrain: Rose canes, rose canes,
discreetly positioned, a rabbit fence!
Come, ye buzzers and swallowtails!
Rabbits, begone! Get thee hence!
In my last house, I had a gorgeous pollinator garden (header photo). Butterflies and bees held conventions there. Here, no hope. The rabbits devour buds, sprouts, petals. And want more. Always more. I am not a lawn person so I have all kinds of clover for them. It matters not.
Then there are chipmunks, digging and tearing through roots. I don’t care what Walt Disney says, they aren’t cute either.
I have wasted money on commercial “repellents.” My garden muse, Medusa McGregor, suggested rose canes one year, and I think she was on to something.
I hasten to add that there are some rabbits with manners; we had one once.
Here is evidence of how well the rose canes work:
This is the second round of buds on this poor coreopsis. The first round was destroyed.
Hasenpfeffer, anyone?
Oddments 
June 29, 2023 at 10:23 am
Who knew we were having similar issues. Something is eating my zinnias after they bloom and polished off all of my phlox before they could even get buds. I set up two, count them – two, cameras, and haven’t figured out who is having dinner here every couple of nights. I used some of the stuff you supposedly shake out and deter them. The only problem is we’ve had rain for a week so it just goes right into the ground. We had a beautiful ‘pet’ rabbit for several years. I loved Herbert, but he lived in a nice house in our barn and then our garage and ate ‘his’ food. Chipmunks and squirrels? Don’t get me started on my soapbox about their destruction because then I’d probably move on to moles and voles and that would take several conversations. 🙂
June 29, 2023 at 11:45 am
Losing these beautiful flowers is heart-breaking. Wallet-breaking too. In my last house I had white phlox, and I think we compared notes then about the memories we both have in phlox; when such flowers are lost, it really hurts. I hope you can stop whatever is eating things there. I haven’t found any repellent that works totally. The rose canes aren’t perfect, but they have helped. TWO cameras and no ID yet? Wow. The moles are regular visitors here, but usually in the spring. Herbert the rabbit had it good!
June 29, 2023 at 10:46 am
Hysterical! But when you think about it, not funny at all. Wouldn’t you think since we feed these guys they wouldn’t thank us by destroying our plants and property! The bunnies eat my phlox, but haven’t destroyed it…yet. We have a mole or vole who tunneled to our house and then dug a ginormous hole under the skirting (mobile home). Two chipmunks along with three bunnies and occasionally a squirrel help the birds eat their birdseed.
They are so much fun to watch, but I agree, they can do a lot of damage. Kinda like people huh?! 🤗
I can’t believe I sat here singing your poem ….. with feeling. I’m having my breakfast Maureen, so I’ll pass on the Hasenpfeffer. In fact, I’ll pass on it for any meal!
Ginger
June 29, 2023 at 11:49 am
Thank you! I am laughing here imagining you there singing the song! It’s very touching, don’t you think? As for the Hasenpfeffer, though I have no desire to eat it, I think I’m going to start mentioning it very loudly so the rabbits hear it. Sounds as though you have quite the wildlife refuge there, and your observation about people is right on the mark!
June 29, 2023 at 11:06 am
Oh dear, I am so sorry. The birds eat my fruit every year. I tried netting the trees but the birds got trapped and hurt themselves. Now I just accept that I grow fruit for the birds and they are the fattest in Johannesburg.
June 29, 2023 at 11:52 am
What a loss! Losing fruit would be horrible, and you are very good to be so stoic about it. I’m at wit’s end this summer with these blasted rabbits. Like you with the birds, I don’t want to hurt them; I just want them to go away. And take their offspring with them!
June 29, 2023 at 1:38 pm
I think your rabbits and Dan’s rabbits are texting each other and high-fiving over the great grub you guys provide. They look so cute, but then all I have here are birds and squirrels and they just come by to munch on yard, which is clover and whatever is the weed du jour. My yard is between two immaculately manicured lawns that no insect or rodent would dare to step on. ‘Ain’t got time for that!
June 29, 2023 at 3:01 pm
Much as I am not enthusiastic about rabbits, I do have to laugh at the image of Dan’s and mine high-fiving each other. You are probably right about that.
June 29, 2023 at 2:58 pm
Nothing has ever bothered daughter’s lilies-of-some-sort beside our front steps –until shortly after I spotted the wild bunny again (who’d visited our bird feeder one winter) just a couple of streets over…🤔… Frustrating. (And I sang your song, too!)
June 29, 2023 at 3:05 pm
I think I hear a great swelling similar to Beethoven’s Ninth. I’m afraid rabbits love lilies. But then they love most things that are green and can’t run. Your poor lilies!
June 29, 2023 at 3:24 pm
Ah, and now perhaps I know what bothered the sunflowers this year (chewed to nubs, too)!
June 29, 2023 at 5:24 pm
Oh, no! I bet you’re right, though; nothing is safe where there are rabbits. A couple years ago they took my zinnias and dill right down to the ground. Major transgression.
June 29, 2023 at 6:03 pm
Aw, gardening (and farming) is frustrating. And believe it or not, right after my previous comment above, I looked out the side porch window. Guess what I saw… Yep! Though he is the tiniest bun ever, it explains ALL the sudden garden savagery!
June 29, 2023 at 6:06 pm
No! Right on cue! “Savagery” is exactly it, and they learn young. Your poor garden!
June 29, 2023 at 11:23 pm
I’m laughing, too, Maureen. I was singing your song, and now the mental image of those guys high fiving and yucking it up about the great grub. Last week, I didn’t even know they can stand up like that. I’ll have to print the lyrics for my wife. She doesn’t want any harm to come to them, but she’d like to see some growth in her garden.
June 30, 2023 at 12:12 am
Ditto. I don’t want them hurt, but I sure want them some place else! I’m long past thinking they are cute. Maybe you and your wife could sing a duet….a little soft shoe…
June 30, 2023 at 12:34 am
Fred and Ginger we ain’t.
June 30, 2023 at 1:00 am
Now I’m laughing.
July 1, 2023 at 8:05 pm
It is a very good shot of the huge rabbit you are fostering. You made me laugh out loud with this. Especially the pollen bit.
July 1, 2023 at 8:05 pm
PS I had to look up the stew.
July 1, 2023 at 10:05 pm
I’ve never made it, but I’ve thought of it wistfully.
July 1, 2023 at 10:04 pm
What a thought: fostering a rabbit, especially Gargantua here. It does feel as though I am running some kind of rabbit diner, though. I am trying hard to disabuse them of the idea that I like them. Which they apparently think.
July 5, 2023 at 2:29 pm
One word: cloches.
I learn how to make them after bunnies devour each and every blessed bloom of my gazania a couple of years back. They make fine topiary job and shear heather too.
Although rabbit stew often comes to mind, I couldn’t hurt those cute creatures. Cloches work!
July 5, 2023 at 8:41 pm
Thanks! I will look into that. I don’t want to hurt them either; I just want them to go away. Losing gazania would be painful indeed.