June 16.24: Coping, but barely

June 16, 2024 by Oddment 18 Comments

Fathers’ Day

Dad the Dude

and his first car, a 1929 Ford Sedan, purchased January 24, 1938, for $75.

 

Yesterday I read an article about advice from dads. I don’t remember much advice from my dad. Dictates, yes. Awful jokes, yes. Advice?

I think when I started driving Dad had advice, especially when he wasn’t climbing the passenger-side door. “Watch out for the other guy” comes to mind. “Don’t swerve out one way before you turn the other way!” (often abbreviated to AAAAAAGH!) “Never argue with someone bigger” applied to semi-trucks. Not bad advice for life in general, actually.

“Never use a tool for anything besides what it’s meant for.” (My version: do what works.)

He had advice about an adequate cursing vocabulary. Vulgarities made you sound uneducated (he said), so, if you needed to swear and curse, do it with a vocabulary. He recommended Shakespeare, as in “Fie!” The vilest thing you could say to someone (he said) was “Thyself upon thyself!” Uh huh. That works.

Dad was a compulsive letter-writer, feverishly clacking away on Mom’s old typewriter. His letters to me in college always ended with “Keep the Faith.”

Faith. It isn’t always about religion. Sometimes it’s about the ground under your feet, the set of your jaw, the courage of your convictions, the sure perception of what you can’t see.

I try to keep the faith. Not Dad’s. Mine.

I’ll call that advice.

 

As with mothers, I hold that you don’t have to be a biological father to be a dad. So Happy Fathers’ Day to all those who have been dads, and that includes single moms who have had to be both. For those who are single dads, kudos!