In search of story

Disconnections: October 1.18


As you know, dear reader, I am in the process of down-sizing. And process it is. I still have things in a storage unit, and I’m here to tell you that “out of sight, out of mind” does not apply: those things jabber at me all the time, yelling across town “We’re still here, you know!”

Sorting through life’s accumulation requires thinking, contemplating, reflecting, and — the biggest obstacle of all — remembering. One cannot just pick up a box and heave it into the garbage — it might have an old birthday card in it! And heaven forbid I throw out a Tiny Tears dress I’d intended to keep forever!

For me, what greases this slow-grinding process is anger. When I get angry, I can see so clearly what I don’t need! I can see how junk is weighing me down, and out with it!

The last few weeks have brought — for me — the climax of a long wind-up of anger and grief and resentment and depression and disbelief and despair and frustration and disgust, as I try to understand what has made children and women such disposable commodities. My struggles culminated in a free-for-all of unloading. And thus did I fill my car on the weekend for our community recycling day, and thus did I heap my own recycling bin to overflowing.

An inadequate catharsis, perhaps, but at least a constructive one. At the rate things are going, all my belongings will soon fit in a thimble.


8 thoughts on “Disconnections: October 1.18

  1. Hard to know what to say, Maureen. I have felt bad too, watching from overseas, which manifested itself as a lack of appetite. I think I might have lost a pound or two, which my frame can certainly bear, but I would rather you still had the clutter to deal with and I had the extra weight if the world could be fair and people wise and kind to each other. Still, as bargains don’t work that way, I suppose we can be pleased to have had some benefits from feeling bad.

    • That’s a good way to try to look at it. Yes, if the world could be fair…but if that’s too much to ask, maybe just a tiny drop of kindness here or there. Did all of this have anything to do with that dark mood that accompanied you into the evening garden? I wonder how many people have turned to an evening garden to try to deal with these monstrosities.

      • Yes, it did. I don’t want to be gloomier than I can help, but I also wonder how many women would not dare enjoy a simple pleasure like walking in a garden or beautiful natural place alone or at night because of something they had experienced in the past, or through a genuine concern for their safety.

  2. That’s not being gloomy; that’s a kindness to those who have had the searing experiences, and to those who fear such experiences. You are right to wonder.

  3. Do you remember when the news was what happened in your town and then maybe what happened in DC? Now, we hear about every atrocity world wide, and most days it is more than a body and soul can bear. I think at those times, we feel like we have no control. But, then there is stuff, and stuff we can control. I’ve done it myself so I know exactly what you mean. I downsized about fifteen years ago and have never looked back. That being said, I still do it. When I buy something new, I look around for something to go. Of course, if you have adult children who value some of your cherished items that is different. My daughter has her own things, so it is pretty easy for me to toss. I go to Goodwill on a regular basis and recycling at least twice a week. I’m at a point where I look at something and think I can toss it or my daughter can toss it – it’s gone. šŸ™‚ Keep going because the news is not going to get any better. Even if it did, they wouldn’t broadcast it that way, and maybe you’ll clean out that storage unit before the next month’s rent is due. šŸ™‚

    • You are absolutely right that there is a sense that everything is out of our control. And with such a level of meanness.

      I congratulate you on your ongoing battle with Stuff. It’s the only way to do it, and I will try to follow your good example! Cleaning out the storage unit before next month’s rent is a thing devoutly to be hoped — I’m workin’ on it!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.